DEAR DIARY — Part 11
January 5th
Seriously, can life get any absolute better than this? I feel like I am floating on a cloud lately. I finally heard back from my main thesis advisor yesterday afternoon, and I was so incredibly nervous to open his email. But when I did, I practically squealed! He didn’t have any major complaints about my draft at all. In fact, he had a lot of positive things to say about the direction I’m taking.
I’m actually really glad to be back at university. Those Christmas holidays at my parents’ house did me a world of good and gave me the mental reset I desperately needed, but there is no place I’d rather be right now than back here. I still have about three full months left to completely finish up and polish both of my senior theses, but they are coming along so beautifully. All of my professors seem really happy with my work, which takes a massive weight off my shoulders. For the first time in my college career, I feel completely on top of my studies instead of constantly drowning in them.
But as good as the academic news was, the absolute highlight of coming back was finally seeing Adam again. I missed him so much while I was away. The very second we met up after a week apart, he wrapped me in his arms, and it wasn’t long before he mesmerized me once more. God, I didn’t realize how much I had craved the sound of his voice until I felt that familiar, heavy wave of relaxation wash over my brain. It felt like coming home.
Then, today was just absolute bliss. We spent our usual morning completely tangled up in bed together, just cuddling under the warm blankets, with the occasional sex act thrown in whenever the mood struck us. Eventually, though, I had to force myself to get up because I knew I needed to go for my run. But today, something wonderful and completely unexpected happened: Adam actually decided to me! He told me that seeing my incredible dedication and effort with my fitness routine over the last month had genuinely inspired him to be more active too.
It was honestly so nice having a running partner. I’m definitely not as fast or as conditioned as he is, but he let me set the pace for our entire route. I deeply appreciated that gesture because, let’s be real, I wouldn’t have lasted more than a couple of minutes trying to run at his natural speed!
This afternoon, instead of keeping to our usual routine of him putting me into a deep trance for the whole evening, Adam surprised me by taking me out to a local amusement park. I had an absolute blast. Toward the end of the afternoon, we discovered they had a roller-skating rink set up. We rented skates, and we went gliding around the rink together. I was a little clumsy at first, but like I said, the whole afternoon was just a mountain of pure fun.
And you know what? I just realized something major today. Actually, to be completely fair, it was Adam who pointed it out to me while we were driving back from the park. He looked over at me and casually mentioned that I haven’t complained about a single headache in weeks. I stopped and thought about it, and my jaw practically dropped. He’s entirely right! I used to get those blinding, agonizing migraines multiple times a week, and now? Nothing. Total clarity. It suddenly hit me that I might just be completely cured.
When I realized that, Adam smiled at me and asked if that meant I wanted to stop doing our nightly hypnosis sessions now that the pain was gone. I looked at him and told him there was absolutely no way in hell I was giving that up! I love that he can make me do things without me even consciously realizing it. I know he can’t make me do anything I don’t fundamentally want to do anyway, but the simple fact is, I would do just about anything for him.
Hypnosis Experiment Log
Subject: Jessica Sandler
Date : January 10
It has been incredibly rewarding to see Jessica smiling so much more frequently lately. She possesses such a naturally radiant smile, and it always felt like a profound shame that she used to keep it hidden away from the world behind a mask of academic anxiety. Beyond the aesthetic improvement, the behavioral loop is working perfectly; Jessica genuinely seems much happier overall. It is truly amazing what a simple, physical cue like a smile can do to recalibrate a subject’s entire baseline mood. I am highly optimistic that this more joyful, carefree version of Jessica will become her permanent norm.
While we were cuddling in bed the other morning, I deliberately checked in with her regarding her headaches. She itted that she hadn’t even thought about them lately, but upon reflection, realized they have been completely gone for several weeks now. Given that my conditioning has systematically removed or suppressed the vast majority of the intellectual stressors in her life, I am not at all surprised that her psychosomatic symptoms have disappeared as well.
During the conversation, I explicitly asked her if she still wished to continue with our nightly hypnosis sessions now that her physical pain has been resolved. Her response was an absolute, adamant yes. I must it, I am very glad to hear it. Even though she has given me blanket, subconscious permission to alter her personality and rewrite her habits, I still believe it is important to occasionally check in with her waking self.
This week, my plan is to firmly reinforce her permanent smiling face, while introducing a dual suggestion designed to make Jessica more eager to please people and significantly more flirty in her day-to-day interactions. At times, I have caught glimpses of a distinct submissive streak in her that I absolutely love, and I want to gently coax that trait to the surface.
For example, this past Thursday, Jessica arrived home from her workout much earlier than expected due to a sudden power failure at the campus fitness center. Finding me in the middle of preparing our dinner, she decided to reward my cooking by immediately dropping to her knees on the kitchen floor and giving me a blow job. It was a fascinating display of spontaneous compliance; she even paused at various intervals and held still just so that I could continue stirring the pots on the stove without interruption.
I would love to see a higher frequency of that specific type of deferential behavior from her as we move forward. To be clear, I am not looking to make her completely submissive to the point where she is a vegetative doll, utterly unable to make basic decisions for herself. She still needs enough cognitive function to navigate her final semester. However, I do want her to instinctively defer to my judgment and my desires just a little bit more with each ing day. We will see how smoothly her subconscious integrates this new layer of compliance over the coming week.
January 13th
I’m scribbling this down really quickly before I head off for my morning classes. Adam and I have fallen into a pretty solid routine lately where I spend the weekends over at his place, and then we spend the weeknights staying at mine. However, last night he suggested we mix things up a bit, so I went over to his apartment after finishing my workout at the gym.
As usual, he was the one handling dinner, but he was running a bit late getting home from work, so he hadn’t even started cooking by the time I arrived. Since I had some time to kill while he got settled in the kitchen, I decided to try my hand at cleaning up his apartment a little. Adam really isn’t like most guys; he keeps his place relatively neat and clean on a regular basis. But since he spends so much of his free time over at my apartment in the evenings, he hasn’t really had the time to take care of some of those deep-cleaning chores you usually have to do. The one chore that stood out to me as needing some serious attention was the floors, so I decided to vacuum his entire living room and bedroom.
When I finally finished up, Adam looked over at me from the stove and gave me this incredibly warm smile. It was that specific, knowing smile he gets sometimes when I’ve done something he secretly suggested to me under hypnosis. Usually, I can guess what the suggestion was based on how I’m acting, but this time, I was completely clueless.
“What?” I asked, looking down at the vacuum.
“Thanks for cleaning up,” he answered softly, keeping his eyes on me. “I really appreciate it.”
I don’t know what exactly it was about the way he said it, but hearing Adam express his appreciation like that gave me this intense shiver of pure pleasure straight down my spine. I absolutely loved it. It made me feel so warm and validated inside.
So, obviously, Adam did something to my head during our session this week, but I haven’t entirely figured out the exact wording of the trigger yet. Not that I’ve spent a lot of time heavily thinking about it, to be honest. In a lot of ways, I actually like being left completely in the dark about what he is doing to my mind. It’s just so much hotter that way—knowing he’s changing things around in my head while I just happily drift along.
The rest of the night went much as you would expect these days. We ate, he put me under, and we had some amazing, breathless fun before finally falling asleep.
This morning, I had to drag myself out of bed extra early so that I could rush back to my own apartment, change, and get fully ready for class. I’m a tiny bit tired from the early morning, but honestly, I’m nowhere near as exhausted as I used to be last semester. Looking back, I don’t even know how I survived all that intense academic stress and pressure before the holidays. It feels like a lifetime ago.
Anyway, I have to run or I’m going to be late.
January 20th
I don’t have a ton of time to write a long entry right now. Adam just left my apartment, it’s getting really late, and I am absolutely exhausted. Kyle worked me extra hard at the gym today and kept me way past my usual time. He was trying to teach me the proper technique for weighted squats, but for some reason, I was really struggling to get the form exactly right. Because of that, I ended up doing what felt like a million repetitions until he was satisfied. Thankfully, he didn’t have me starting out with any noticeable weight on the bar, or my legs would be completely useless tomorrow.
I think I’ve finally figured out what Adam is doing to my head right now. All week, I have felt this distinct wave of submissiveness washing over me whenever I’m around him. Honestly, I’ve actually felt a lot more submissive in general lately, but it’s especially noticeable when it comes to Adam. I really don’t think I have it in me to argue with him about anything anymore. I mean, I suppose I still would if it were something incredibly important, but even just the thought of disagreeing with him doesn’t sound pleasant at all.
Normally, the old me would have absolutely hated the thought of being submissive to anyone, but sitting here right now, I just can’t bring myself to care that much. To be completely honest, I actually really like deferring to Adam and letting him make the decisions. The mere fact that I’m willingly letting him change my mind and my personality through hypnosis is a submissive act in and of itself, isn’t it? So, really, now I’m just being a little more submissive in public ways. That’s not a huge difference in the grand scheme of things, and it probably would have happened eventually anyway as we get closer.
I might ask Adam about it during our next session, but then again, I might not. I haven’t quite decided yet. Right now, my bed is calling my name and my muscles are aching.
January 25th
I’m sitting at my desk trying to organize my thoughts, and honestly, it’s been a bit of a weird week. On the surface, everything is going really well. My twin senior theses are progressing nicely, and I’m hitting all the research benchmarks my advisors set for me before the holidays. But if I’m being completely honest with myself in here, I’ve started noticing shift in how I’m handling my schoolwork.
Lately, I feel like I am losing the ability to make decisions on my own. When it comes to deciding the final direction my thesis chapters should take, or choosing which data points to emphasize, my brain just kind of shorts out. I used to be so independent and headstrong about my academic choices, but now, I just feel this overwhelming wave of submissiveness whenever a crossroads comes up. Instead of trusting my own intellect, I find myself constantly running to Adam, showing him my drafts, and practically begging for his opinion on what I should do next. It’s like I need his stamp of approval before I can even write a single paragraph.
It’s not just affecting how I interact with Adam, either. The other day, I actually found myself asking Rachel and Kelly for their help and advice on a particularly difficult section of my analysis. In our friend group, I am usually the smartest, most assertive, and most fiercely independent one. I’m the person everyone else usually comes to for academic guidance! But this time, I felt so small and unsure of myself that I desperately needed their approval before I could move forward. They looked at me a little surprised, but they were sweet about it, of course.
Sitting back and looking at my behavior objectively, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what’s happening. This sudden, deep hesitation must be due to the new hypnotic suggestion Adam planted in my head during our recent sessions. I already suspected he was making me more submissive, but seeing it bleed into my cherished academic work is a little jarring.
But you know what? On the other hand, it really makes me wonder. For the longest time, I know I could come across as a bit detached, overly competitive, and maybe even a little bit arrogant. Is it possible that this new, softer personality trait is actually making me a better person? I notice that I’m listening to people more, I’m less quick to judge, and I’m definitely a lot less arrogant than I used to be. It’s kind of nice not feeling like I have to carry the weight of being the smartest person in the room all the time. Deferring to others—especially to Adam—takes a lot of the pressure off.
I’m still not entirely sure what I think about this change, though.
Speaking of Adam, he’s coming over in a little bit to cook dinner, and I can already feel myself getting excited just thinking about hearing his voice again. I think I’ll just let him look over my papers tonight and tell me exactly what to do with them. It’s just so much easier that way.
Hypnosis Experiment Log
Subject: Jessica Sandler
Date: January 27
The transformation Jessica has made already has been absolutely tremendous. I am in complete awe of the woman she is becoming, and to think it is all because of a few careful, systematic suggestions I plant in her mind. I never truly knew subjects like her existed. Her psychological compliance is practically seamless now, and slipping her under has become completely effortless. Yesterday, for instance, I had her in and out of a trance all afternoon. Sometimes I would just leave her drifting in that placid state, other times I would ask her questions to gauge her cognitive drift, or simply reinforce the behavioral suggestions I have already established. As far as I can tell, Jessica barely even notices the transition when she drops into a trance anymore. The line between her waking state and hypnotic compliance is blurring beautifully.
I have thoroughly enjoyed watching Jessica act more submissively toward me this week. She has completely deferred to me whenever a question has arisen or a decision needed to be made. There is something intoxicating about the way she looks at me when she wants me to take the lead—it’s almost like puppy-dog eyes. She looks up at me with a certain kind of helpless longing. I wish I could describe the expression better, but it is simultaneously incredibly cute and intensely hot. She makes me want to completely protect and take care of her, which, given how I have conditioned her to be more dependent and submissive toward me, I am fully obligated to do.
There is already so much about Jessica’s evolution that I am enjoying. She clearly possesses an innate desire to please me, a trait that was visible even before I explicitly suggested she adopt a more submissive posture. While I am highly enjoying the subtle physical effects her new exercise regimen has already sculpted onto her body, there is still significantly more aesthetic progress I would like to see from her.
Namely, for this week’s project, I want Jessica to get a belly-button piercing. ittedly, given her current level of deference, she would probably go do it tomorrow if I simply commanded her to in a waking state. However, I much prefer the elegance of her believing it was entirely her own idea. That way, she feels like an active, eager participant in her own redesign. I am sure she will eventually figure out that I planted the suggestion in her subconscious, but by the time she actually goes through with the procedure, I want her to know she is completely okay with it.
In the end, I always maintain a strict awareness that what I ask her to do under hypnosis is still ultimately moderated by her own psyche. She is the one actively granting me this absolute control, and she theoretically retains the power to rescind that control at any moment. Regardless of the underlying psychology, I am looking forward to seeing Jessica’s midriff adorned with a sparkling jewel. She is going to look incredibly sexy with it. After all, every proper bimbo should have her belly button pierced.