To Be Bi or Not Be Bi, That Is the Question
They say that there’s a feminine side to most guys, and whilst I’m loathe to it it, there came a time when I started having a sneaky peek at gay cock sucking. And yes, being white, I found myself particularly drawn to black cock. But I knew I wasn’t gay. Happily married to Lorraine, or Lorrie as she was known, for twenty years now, producing a fit, sporting son in Peter, now nineteen, I can’t put my proverbial finger on why I did what I did. At forty-seven, I was surely too old to risk what I did, but I did it. Now I was, still am, a fit man. Six feet tall, muscular build, and still working out at least three times a week. Whatever possessed me to with that site, ‘because I was curious’, I will never know. It was the fantasy, I guess. The Site required a fantasy to be included in a profile, and I just went and posted one. I was going to meet a well-built black guy in a hotel bar. We would have a drink. He would suddenly take control of me, order me to book a room, and we’d go there. I’d pay for the room whilst he covered the drinks. What we did in the room he would tell me. We’d have a safe word, or at least I would, and maybe things would work out as intended. We’d do whatever we did and go our separate ways, never to make again. What could be more straightforward I thought. I just had to exorcise that demon in me, telling me to suck black cock.
There were only two responses to the Site profile. One was, well, just too gay for my liking to actually play the part. But the other was exactly what I’d imagined. He said he was fifty-five, but could have been younger. Large, but not fat, his profile images suggested. We arranged to meet. When I got to the hotel bar, he was already there. In our message exchange I said mine was a JD and coke, and there it was, a triple. His handshake was more than firm. It actually hurt a little. We found a quiet alcove in the corner. We spoke for a few minutes, during which time I found his stare quite piercing. After about ten minutes, and I’d downed the drink that swiftly, as much due to nervousness as anything else, he asked if I wanted another. I said yes, but he didn’t call a waiter. Instead went to the bar himself. I started feeling a little strange. Fuzzy-headed, a little weak, actually feeling like a doze. He brought the second drink up, again a triple, and I thought ‘I’m here for what’s going down. I don’t need to be intoxicated to do it’, but I drank it, and maybe a little too quickly, because I just couldn’t keep my eyes open. “You’ll feel like you want to sleep soon Jack,” he said. “You’ve been ingesting a very powerful drug that will make you very compliant to my suggestions. You’ll lose consciousness soon, but you’ll still listen carefully. And when you come to, we can live out this fantasy of yours.” I wasn’t immediately sure of the drugging aspect, but as I drifted off, I did think it a realistic idea. Just what I fantasised about. Mind control me whilst I’m unconscious first. So cool.
“Awaken,” I heard him say, and I opened my eyes. ‘Wow’. I thought. That was something else. What next, then, I wondered. “What exactly is it you want to do, then, Jack?” He asked. I looked at him. And those eyes. I focused on them. Dark. Strong. And as I focussed, I asked myself ‘I wonder what he’s going to get me to do’, but I did have limitations. There was an agreed safe word. “Well,” I said, and I spoke softly so as not be overheard. “I want to see if I can be drawn to, well, you know. Touching you. Your cock.” “That all?” He asked. “Well, I’d want to see how I felt doing that. I’m still not sure, really. I did say on my profile, and in our message exchange, if you recall? I asked for patience.” I was thinking of the safe word then. Just to remind him. But it had slipped my mind. “You want to suck my cock, Jack. Don’t you?” He said, staring at me. “Well, yes, I suppose I do,” I responded, feeling a little more inclined to at least do that. “And you want me to fuck your ass, too, don’t you?” He said that with his stare now quite piercing. Well, I hadn’t been sure I actually wanted to go that far, but now he had said it, I felt more positive about that too. “Yes. We could do that,” I answered. “You’ll call me sir from now on, and you want to surrender your sissy mouth and ass to me. You want to please me, don’t you?” He then said, and I began to feel just a little uncertain then. I hadn’t been sure how it would work out, but sissy surrender? I wasn’t so sure about that. Naive, a little, I guess, but somehow, as I looked into his eyes, the uncertainty disappeared and I had this overwhelming urge to comply. It may have been the assertive look in his eyes, but I responded “Yes, sir. I want to surrender my sissy mouth and ass to you.” And it actually made me feel horny just saying that. “Go and book a room,” he said, and my first thought then was to do exactly what he’d told me to do. “Yes, sir,” I said, and got up. “Make it a suite,” he said. I looked at him. Those eyes again. “Yes, sir,” I responded. As I walked towards the reception this overwhelming thought entered my mind. I must please him. He can tell me to do whatever he wants, and I’ll do it.
I’d handed the key to him after I’d booked, and he told me to wait ten minutes before following him up. When I knocked on the door, I heard the shout “Come in. It’s unlocked.” And it was. The suite was of a good size. I went into the bedroom. He was stood there in a gown. Staring at me again, he told me to “Get undressed.” “Yes, sir,” I responded, and did. Standing there, naked now, I was, waiting for him to tell me what to do. “Get on your knees on the bed and show me your ass,” he said, and I did. On my hands and knees on the bed, I got, and presented my ass to him. I felt a hand on a cheek, then a finger run up the crack. At the hole it stopped, and started to be pushed in. I began to think that this was a bit quick. Straight away I was on the bed, having my ass fingered, and we hadn’t even discussed exactly how it was going to work. I didn’t mind being coached in what to do, but I had thought we’d discuss it. Then it felt like two fingers were in. Then three. I felt something cold there. Lube, I guessed. Thank Christ for that I thought. They were going in quite deep, and it was beginning to hurt a little. The lube helped ease the discomfort. I felt them leave. “Turn around and sit on the side of the bed,” he said, and I then did that, but not before saying “Yes, sir.” He put the fingers to my mouth. I could smell a combination of lube and, well, a bit of shit it was. “Open your mouth,” he said. No, I thought. Put those fingers in my mouth after where they’ve been? What’s the safe word, I tried to , but I’d forgotten. I couldn’t understand why, but I just couldn’t it. “There’s no safe word here, Jack. You’ve forgotten it. You’ll do exactly what I tell you to do. Now open your mouth.” And I did. I opened my mouth. As he put the fingers in, I wasn’t sure whether I could take them in, and more to the point, suffer the taste. Would I puke up. I didn’t know. “Suck,” he said. And I started to. “It tastes good, Jack, your ass, doesn’t it?” And I thought maybe he was right. As I sucked, I decided maybe it didn’t taste so bad after all. He seemed to know that I’d sucked off all of the lube and a little of what had come out of my ass, and as he pulled his fingers out, he said “Get on your knees.” And I did that too. I wondered then, whether I was actually getting into the moment, living out the fantasy I’d had, or I’d gotten myself into something more sinister. I just wasn’t feeling right, not completely being myself, with any form of control of what I was allowing to happen here. As I was on my knees before him, he pulled open the robe. And there it was. Bigger than I’d imagined. Maybe six inches long it was, and still flaccid. And thick. It was much thicker than mine. “Put it in your mouth,” he said, and for some reason, the words aroused me. I felt a reaction in me down below. I moved forward and licked up the shaft from the head. I felt it react. As it pushed out and upwards, filling with blood, I opened my mouth and took the head in. I sucked a little, and it grew even more in my mouth. I moved my hand to take hold of it, but he said firmly, “No hand yet. Just your mouth,” so I took it away and continued to suck. I started moving my mouth down on it, and back up. I could only get about halfway down on it before it was at the back of my throat. I quickened the pace. I’d seen enough of how to do it on the Net, and of course knew what I liked. I really did want to take it in my hand too, but he’d told me not to yet, so I didn’t. Then he said “The balls. Suck whilst you’re jerking.” Just what I wanted to do, I thought, so I did. Taking it in my hand and pushing it up for access to the balls, I started licking them as I gently stroked the shaft. I had a suck there before licking up the whole shaft, and then taking the head in my mouth again. I would have been serving his cock like that for a few minutes more, before he then said “Back on the bed and show me your ass again.” “Yes, sir,” said, and did as I was told. Once I was in position, he said “Pull those ass cheeks apart,” and I so wanted his cock in there right then, that I did it. I knew that if I pulled hard, I’d stretch the hole, making entry easier. I felt it at the entrance, then slowly push in. It started to hurt, but I so wanted it. I so wanted to serve him. I had no idea how good it would feel to do this, to serve a complete stranger like that. “Tell me what you want,” he said. “Fuck me, sir. Fuck me hard,” I just blurted it out. I didn’t know why, I just did. It was in deep now, and hurting, a lot, but so good. As I felt it move out a little, and back in, I started thinking what a great idea the fantasy had been. Being controlled, being told what to do by a complete stranger, so intensely arousing. I was so stiff myself then, but couldn’t touch it whilst needing my hands to steady myself on the bed as he built up the pace and rhythm.
I couldn’t tell how long he was fucking me for, before he obviously came. Gripping my hips tightly, he did, as his thrusting slowed whilst he filled my ass. Filled my ass, I realised, then panicked. Condom! I had condoms, but we didn’t discuss using one. I didn’t know what had possessed me to get that far without basic protection. I felt him pull out. I wanted to say something, but couldn’t. I put my hand to my asshole and pressed slightly, feeling cum now on my fingers. How the fuck had I let that happen, I asked myself. He then said “On your knees,” and again I did as he told me. I was staring at it then, inches from my face. Glistening with cum and what else from my ass. “Clean it. With your mouth,” he said “Yes, sir,” I responded as I moved towards it with my mouth open. I took it in there. I sucked and also swallowed what I’d taken from it, then licked the shaft. I could taste my ass, but didn’t mind. I just wanted to serve this cock, and had to put my mouth over it again for just one more suck. As I pulled off, he took hold of it, and said “Keep your mouth open.” I stared briefly at its eye, before it lined up with my mouth. “Drink,” he said as a stream of piss shot out into my mouth. What the fuck, my mind was telling me. This was not what and where this was meant to go. Just too much. I wanted to stop it then. I wanted to say the safe word, but didn’t know what it was. I swallowed as much as I could, but there was too much, and it began to pour down my chin and onto the floor. I started to wonder how I’d explain that to the hotel, but remained focussed on taking as much of his piss down my throat as I could. It eventually stopped. I looked up at him. I wanted to say something, but couldn’t. I was instead waiting for him to tell me what to do next. He started walking to the bathroom. “Follow me,” he said. I moved to get up, but he said “On your hands and knees. Crawl.” So, I did that. As I followed him in there, I stared at his ass. I had wondered whether I’d actually get something out of it all. I was still hard. Balls aching so much now. Maybe he’d let me jerk off in front of him, I thought. Put on a bit of a show, maybe. He sat on the toilet, and I stopped. On my hands and knees, I still was, as he started shitting in the pan. I knew that this was not what I had in mind, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t say anything. The safe word had just gone. He stared into my eyes as I looked up at him. All manner of thoughts entered my mind. Was this real. Was he really controlling me I asked myself. I had ed out downstairs. And I was doing for him things that I surely wouldn’t unless he had some hold over me. Even still, what I did know, was that I still wanted him to tell me to do something else for him. I knew I’d do absolutely anything he told me to, and despite knowing that it had gone too far, I so wanted him to tell me to do something then. He stood up and flushed the toilet. As he turned around with his back to me, spreading his legs, and bending forward, ing himself on the toilet surround, he said “Clean my ass. With your tongue. It tastes good, Jack. You really want to taste it.”
As I crawled towards them, the dark brown ass cheeks, I was filled with a sense of anticipation. What would it taste like, I thought. I really wanted to taste it. Would I please him in how I licked the shit from his ass, I wondered. As I pulled the cheeks apart, there was quite a bit attached to the hair around the hole. I started there. Licking up, slowly at first, then a little quicker. Pushing harder against the hair, I was swallowing quickly too. I thought nothing of the taste, only the purpose I had then, to clean his ass. When I thought I’d completed the task I pulled back, and said “It’s clean, sir.” He stood up and turned around, and walked past me. As he walked away, he said “Follow me. And crawl.” I did. Into the bedroom. “Sit in the corner,” he said, pointing to one. I crawled over. “Face the wall,” he said, so I did. A few minutes later he said “Your life will be very different from now on, Jack. You will serve me as and when I choose. I will you soon to tell you what you’re going to do next. When I’ve gone, jerk off into your hand and then eat your cum from it.” I thought, no way. This was a once only arrangement. I’m not sure that it was what I’d expected, nor really wanted. I definitely was not going to meet this guy again, but said “Yes, sir. Thank you, sir,” anyway. I sensed movement behind me, then a door close. I waited a few seconds and turned around. He was gone. I just sat there. Momentarily stunned, I tried to take in what had gone down there. I felt a sense of relief that he’d actually gone then. I sat on the bed. I was still hard. Just because he told me to jerk off wasn’t why I was going to do it. I did it, but because I needed a release. I collected the cum in the palm of my hand. I was curious. Not because he’d said do it. But I started licking the cum from the palm, and because I wanted to. I liked the taste. I thought I might just do that again at some point, but only because I wanted to. I showered, feeling my asshole whilst did. A brief poke around inside told me that it had loosened a little, but would surely tighten up. I got dressed and left. It took a few days to recover from the experience. I had absolutely no interest whatsoever in pursuing anything further regarding any latent gayness there may or may not have been in me. No other cock was ever entering my mouth or ass again. Of that I was certain. About two weeks after that episode, though, I got a call. It was him. I hadn’t even ed his name. Nor the safe word. I never could recall that again, but I ed his voice. “Jack. You’re going to book a suite at the hotel again for Friday evening. You’ll be there to serve me as you did before, and I’ll be bringing an associate to enjoy you too. Understood?” “Yes, sir. I understand,” I said. When the call disconnected, I wondered what he was going to get me to do, and with an associate too. I felt something occur in my pants. A little hardening. I was going to get my mouth and ass fucked again by him, and I just couldn’t wait.